The Island Blotter
The sheriff's log, retold
San Juan County Sheriff's Log - Powered by dad humor
Incidents (452)
Deputy played the world's most wholesome game of "marco polo" with an older couple, confirming they were alive and well—just unreachable, like a proper island household.
Sep 21
A friend grew concerned after two days of radio silence, prompting a deputy to perform a wellness check that thankfully ended with everyone still kicking.
Sep 21
An Orcas Island deputy investigated what residents thought was automatic gunfire near Tomihi Drive, which turned out to be something considerably less alarming (and we're all grateful for that plot twist).
Sep 21 · Orcas Island
A San Juan Island deputy took a theft report after a man demonstrated that cough medicine apparently doesn't work if you don't pay for it first.
Sep 21 · San Juan Island
Two drivers discovered that gravity is still undefeated when gravel from passing trucks decorated their windshields on West Valley and Tarte roads; one motorist also decided that "insurance information" was a suggestion rather than a requirement.
Sep 21
An Orcas Island deputy responded to a report of loose dogs in a field just before recess at a local elementary school—talk about a ruff situation. The owner was located before the pups could truly go to the dogs.
Sep 21 · Orcas Island
A Lopez Island deputy conducted two welfare checks on an older resident after his family and a neighbor couldn't reach him during a power outage; turns out he was fine, just experiencing what we in the business call "maximum unavailability."
Sep 21 · Lopez Island
A deputy took a threats report after a woman said a friend overheard another person threaten her during a phone call amid an ongoing dispute—so basically, a game of telephone that nobody wanted to play.
Sep 20
A San Juan Island deputy took a report of a resident actively on the phone with a scammer at the time of the call; we'd like to think our presence improved the caller's day, even if their bank account didn't.
Sep 20 · San Juan Island
A deputy responded to a report of a neighbor yelling loudly, transferred from a call originally placed to Whatcom County—turns out we're the right county for handling people who absolutely cannot use their inside voice.
Sep 20
Deputies conducted not one, but TWO welfare checks after a woman went MIA following a laundry day phone call—proving that sometimes the spin cycle of life can really throw you for a loop.
Sep 20
A deputy responded to a traffic hazard involving a deceased deer and motorcycle debris, confirming that this particular intersection was definitely not a safe place to have a "hog-wild" day.
Sep 20 · San Juan Island
Deputies investigated reports of something suspicious in a crawl space, though a follow-up visit turned up nothing—much like my search for clean socks in that same type of space at home.
Sep 20
A deputy looked into a report involving an ex-partner entering a home; we're not saying it was awkward, but it definitely qualified as "ex-traordinary" police work.
Sep 20
A Lopez Island deputy responded to a report of two people, one believed to be the resident—a classic case of "is this person supposed to be here or nah?"
Sep 20 · Lopez Island
A deputy played island doctor and checked on an older Lopez Island resident whose coworker was worried about a medical symptom that had overstayed its welcome for several days.
Sep 19 · Lopez Island
Two vehicles met near a downtown stop sign on San Juan Island in what we're calling a "minor disagreement" — nobody hurt, just some bent metal and bruised egos.
Sep 19 · San Juan Island
A non-English-speaking San Juan Island resident reported that a package delivery dispute escalated faster than expected when someone allegedly decided to settle the matter with a firearm — translation services were involved.
Sep 19 · San Juan Island
A San Juan Island shuttle driver decided to bring some creative dialogue to a traffic dispute, exiting his vehicle to deliver what we assume were strongly worded opinions to another motorist.
Sep 19 · San Juan Island
Our deputies conducted an extensive islands tour, stopping numerous vehicles across San Juan and Orcas in what can only be described as a very thorough afternoon commute audit.
Sep 19 · Orcas Island
A San Juan Island deputy responded to a woman living on a derelict boat who made threats involving fire, blades, and ballistics—apparently she was having a really bad day, and we mean really bad.
Sep 18 · San Juan Island
Two young adventurers, including an 8-year-old, decided Jackson Beach wasn't exciting enough and started their own unsupervised road trip; deputy located them before they could add "hitchhiking" to their résumés.
Sep 18 · San Juan Island
Another San Juan Island resident fell for the fake jury-duty scam—these con artists are really trying their case, but spoiler alert: they're guilty.
Sep 18 · Orcas Island
A truck near Lime Kiln was drifting between lanes on San Juan Island, suggesting the driver's GPS and lane markers were having a serious disagreement.
Sep 18 · San Juan Island
A San Juan Island deputy checked on a worker in a crawl space after their friend couldn't reach them—thankfully they were okay, just unreachable, which is either the best hiding spot or the worst office location ever.
Sep 18 · San Juan Island
A San Juan Island deputy documented a case of someone who really knew how to make an entrance with their firearm—turns out brandishing without any actual pointing is like bringing a prop to a conversation nobody asked for.
Sep 18 · San Juan Island
An Orcas Island deputy took a report of a scam caller who apparently didn't get the memo that jury duty threats are a pretty tired bit, even if they do work on some folks.
Sep 18 · Orcas Island
A resident discovered their door had been broken into several months back, proving that some break-ins are more of a delayed-reaction mystery than a time-sensitive emergency.
Sep 18
A San Juan Island deputy responded to a burglary report after a business owner realized his shop had been visited by someone with very poor manners and even worse timing.
Sep 18 · San Juan Island
A San Juan Island deputy mediated a ferry reservation dispute that escalated to the point where people were actually fighting about which floating metal box they'd be sitting on—civility at its finest.
Sep 18 · San Juan Island
A San Juan Island deputy took a harassment/stalking report on behalf of a store employee—apparently someone's idea of customer loyalty went a little too far beyond repeat visits.
Sep 18 · San Juan Island
Deputies conducted several traffic stops across San Juan and Orcas islands throughout the day, reminding drivers that speed limits are suggestions only if you're auditioning for Fast & Furious: Island Edition.
Sep 17 · Orcas Island
A deputy fielded reports of fake death notifications, including one man who got some truly unwelcome news about his son—a son who had already passed years ago, because apparently someone's prank call game needed a serious timeout.
Sep 17
A San Juan Island deputy took two fraud reports, because apparently some folks think "creative accounting" and "creative lying" are the same thing.
Sep 17 · San Juan Island
A San Juan Island deputy located a disoriented woman in her 70s who couldn't recall her name or location and safely helped her get her bearings—a solid reminder that sometimes the best thing a deputy can do is actually help someone find their way home.
Sep 17 · San Juan Island
A deputy checked in on a woman taking the "van life" lifestyle choice a bit too literally after a separation, ensuring she had what she needed to get back on solid ground—literally and figuratively.
Sep 17
An Orcas Island deputy responded to a domestic violence report where the woman confirmed she was safe but apparently decided to keep her follow-up answers closer to her chest than a clam at high tide.
Sep 17 · Orcas Island
Deputies conducted a comprehensive tour of three islands' traffic laws, stopping by to remind drivers that speed limits aren't more of a suggestion than actual numbers.
Sep 16 · Lopez Island
A San Juan Island deputy responded to a light fixture that decided to throw sparks like it was auditioning for a fireworks show; fortunately, the family evacuated before things got too lit.
Sep 16 · San Juan Island
An Orcas Island deputy investigated smoke on the east side of Turtleback Mountain, which we can only assume was either a fire or someone's attempt to signal the mainland that they'd finally finished their taxes.
Sep 16 · Turtleback
A loose dog was reunited with its family faster than you can say "fetch" — turns out all's well that ends well.
Sep 16
A San Juan Island deputy played doggy daycare near the hospital and successfully matched one adorable escape artist with its relieved owner.
Sep 16 · San Juan Island
A San Juan Island deputy responded to a large bull on the loose near Bailer Hill and Douglas roads; apparently this bovine hadn't heard that trespassing was un-bull-ievable.
Sep 16 · San Juan Island
A ferry worker learned the hard way that getting backed into by a truck is no laughing matter — though the driver apparently didn't get the memo, and fortunately nobody was hurt.
Sep 16 · San Juan Island
A San Juan Island deputy took a theft report for a tenant, because apparently the island's collective moral compass needed recalibration.
Sep 16 · San Juan Island
An Orcas Island deputy reminded a gentleman that "no-contact order" means exactly that—apparently the memo didn't make it past his decision-making department when he approached the reporting party at a public park.
Sep 16 · Orcas Island
A deputy took a harassment report from a ferry passenger whose workplace problem apparently decided to follow her onto the boat—talk about not getting the hint to stay away.
Sep 15
A San Juan Island deputy conducted a wellness check on an 86-year-old woman after concerning text messages circulated among acquaintances; the situation was handled with appropriate care and concern.
Sep 15 · San Juan Island
A San Juan Island deputy took a report of a dark BMW sedan whose driver seemed to have mistaken the centerline for a suggestion and multiple vehicles for a slalom course near Roche Harbor and Egg Lake roads.
Sep 15 · San Juan Island
An Orcas Island deputy investigated a possible illegal burn on Day Lake Road, because nothing says "follow the rules" like fire without a permit.
Sep 15 · Orcas Island
A San Juan Island deputy played tech support detective on West Valley Road, locating a lost phone after it dramatically crash-detected its own demise—talk about a cry for help.
Aug 7 · San Juan Island
An Orcas Island deputy investigated a 1991 GMC pickup near Rose and Pine Streets and determined it was parked legally, meaning yes, some vehicles really do improve with age like fine wine.
Aug 7 · Orcas Island
A San Juan Island deputy provided medical assistance on Byron Road to a resident experiencing severe medication reactions—a situation where the cure was definitely worse than the disease.
Aug 7 · San Juan Island
A San Juan Island deputy conducted a prowler search around parked vehicles near Cannery Landing on Front Street, making contact with a subject in the area and presumably asking some pointed questions.
Aug 7 · San Juan Island
An Orcas Island deputy responded to an ongoing noise complaint on Eastsound Shores Road where dogs had decided that late-night outdoor concerts were the entertainment the neighborhood desperately needed.
Aug 6 · Eastsound
Camp Orkila campers learned that "quiet hours" aren't just a suggestion—they're a volume control that even the deputy had to turn down personally.
Aug 6 · Orcas Island
A deputy investigated a chronic car alarm on Prune Alley, only to discover the vehicle had exercised its right to remain silent by leaving town entirely.
Aug 6 · Orcas Island
The deputy responded to an alarm at Prune Alley faster than you can say "false alarm," arriving just in time to find the car had nothing left to say.
Aug 6 · Orcas Island
A Mt. Baker Road resident received an unexpected visit from strangers, which turned out to be less "welcome wagon" and more "deputy wagon."
Aug 6 · Orcas Island
A Lopez Island ferry passenger got the scoop on parking time limits—turns out "all day" isn't actually all day.
Aug 6 · Lopez Island
A Lopez Island deputy investigated what can only be described as the ultimate potluck gatecrasher situation on Dragon Run, where uninvited guests not only showed up but brought their vehicles and helped themselves to the picnic furniture — proving that some people really don't understand the meaning of "BYOB" or "bring your own bench."
Aug 6 · Lopez Island
A San Juan Island deputy completed a VIN inspection on a disabled truck parked behind a business on Mullis Street, confirming that yes, this vehicle is indeed very disabled and has been thinking about it for a while.
Aug 6 · San Juan Island
A San Juan Island deputy stopped a vehicle on Second Street and had a friendly chat with the driver about the aerodynamic benefits of keeping passengers inside the vehicle, where they belong.
Aug 6 · San Juan Island
A San Juan Island deputy explained to a resident on Roche Harbor Road that their neighbor's driveway blockade, while impressively committed to the bit, remains a civil matter and not something we can tow away from the drama department.
Aug 6 · San Juan Island
A Lopez Island deputy advised a resident on Decatur Island that their boundary dispute and timber destruction situation is officially classified as "not our circus, not our monkeys" — civil court territory, folks.
Aug 6 · Lopez Island
A San Juan Island deputy conducted a traffic stop on Roche Harbor Road that turned into a full bingo card of violations—turns out the young driver was operating without a license, speeding, and apparently seatbelts are just a suggestion in her book.
Aug 6 · San Juan Island
An Orcas Island deputy mediated a custody exchange situation that required breathalyzer verification, because nothing says "smooth handoff" like a portable breathalyzer on standby.
Aug 6 · Orcas Island
A Lopez Island deputy investigated an abandoned scooter on Odlin Park Road and discovered a Vespa with an identity crisis—no VIN, no plates, just vibes and existential dread.
Aug 6 · Lopez Island
An Orcas Island deputy responded to reports of beach trespassers spotted on Moultray Farm Road security footage, but the unwanted guests had already checked out before law enforcement arrived.
Aug 6 · Orcas Island
Unable to process—incident details incomplete or unclear.
Aug 6
An Orcas Island deputy investigated a suspicious inquiry call after an unknown person showed up at a resident's place—turns out it wasn't a break-in, just someone who really didn't understand the concept of calling first.
Aug 6 · Orcas Island
A San Juan Island deputy documented a report of a rubber-banded stack of cash that went missing two months ago, proving that "finders keepers" has a surprisingly long statute of limitations.
Aug 6 · San Juan Island
A San Juan Island deputy took a walk-in report of an alleged protection order violation involving a sailboat at Friday Harbor Marina—apparently someone didn't get the memo that restraining orders apply on the water too.
Aug 6 · San Juan Island
A San Juan Island deputy logged a box of found tools left near Pear Point Road and Argyle Avenue into evidence, where they'll remain until someone's toolbox stops being a mystery and starts being a reunion.
Aug 6 · San Juan Island
A San Juan Island deputy responded to a landlord-tenant dispute on Linder Street where a resident requested the landlord's removal during a property walkthrough—a delicate situation requiring the diplomatic skills of someone who's seen worse things on this island than awkward real estate encounters.
Aug 6 · San Juan Island
A deputy investigated what might be the island's most committed attempt at modern art installation on White Point Road—an abandoned boat that had been "temporarily" parked on someone's property for two months, which is apparently the nautical equivalent of overstaying your welcome.
Aug 6 · San Juan Island
A Lopez Island deputy discovered that someone's Chevy Avalanche had decided the ferry terminal was the perfect place to block the road, leaving a strongly worded note for the registered owner suggesting their vehicle explore the concept of "lane etiquette."
Aug 6 · Lopez Island
A deputy performed a welfare check at the Earthbox Motel after a phantom 911 call, only to find that the emergency was entirely fictional—much like the caller's sense of timing.
Aug 6 · San Juan Island
Deputies mediated a dispute on Nichols Street over whether a tent should come down, confirming that the only thing pitched in the alley was the argument itself.
Aug 6 · San Juan Island
Orcas Island deputies conducted a routine sex offender registration address verification on Ridgeway Lane, keeping the island's database as current as an island can keep things.
Aug 6 · Orcas Island
A Mt. Baker Road tanker truck got a very unauthorized oil change when someone siphoned 35 gallons of diesel fuel — proving that theft really is a gas, but we're not laughing.
Aug 6 · Orcas Island
A Roche Harbor Road resident discovered that drywall really does belong on walls, not roads, so Public Works was notified to help with this structural disagreement.
Aug 6 · San Juan Island
Four high school students learned that the high school parking lot is not, in fact, a dispensary, resulting in citations and one student getting a ride home courtesy of the sheriff's department.
Aug 6 · San Juan Island
Several juveniles at the high school parking lot on Guard Street received some friendly advice that "loitering around buses" is not the extracurricular activity the school had in mind.
Aug 6 · San Juan Island
A vehicle on Crescent Beach Drive got a polite reminder that parking illegally is a lot to ask, but we're asking anyway.
Aug 5 · Orcas Island
An Orcas Island deputy had to break the news to a vehicle camper on Crescent Beach Drive that the parking lot isn't a five-star resort—it's a no-camping zone, and the stars are free but the illegality isn't.
Aug 5 · Orcas Island
A San Juan Island deputy played phone tag with an Airport Circle Drive resident about tenant questions, proving that even on an island, you can't escape voicemail tag.
Aug 5 · San Juan Island
A Lopez Island deputy clocked a speeder on Fisherman Bay Road and issued a verbal warning—apparently this driver thought the speed limit was more of a suggestion than a regulation.
Aug 5 · Lopez Island
A San Juan Island deputy pulled over a vehicle on C Street and handed out a hat trick of warnings: expired registration, missing title transfer, and an unbuckled seatbelt—basically a greatest hits of "I forgot to adult."
Aug 5 · San Juan Island
Emergency agencies responded to a reported boat fire off Brown Island, only to discover the flames were just the sunset playing an elaborate prank on some boat windows—nature's way of saying "not tonight, firefighters."
Aug 5
A San Juan Island deputy investigated a cement block heist on Erickson Drive—proving that even on a quiet island, some people can't resist getting a little boulder in their criminal career.
Aug 5 · San Juan Island
A Lopez Island deputy reminded two Fisherman Bay Road drivers that yield signs aren't suggestions and that working taillights are, in fact, not optional equipment.
Aug 5 · Lopez Island
A San Juan Island deputy mediated a Second Street custody dispute where one parent apparently thought "camp drop-off time" was more of a suggestion than a scheduled commitment.
Aug 5 · San Juan Island
Marine deputies spotted a gillnet full of dead fish near Spieden Island and wisely decided that particular situation was the Coast Guard's catch of the day.
Aug 5
An Orcas Island deputy checked on a Crescent Beach Drive resident following some concerning statements, ultimately determining the person wasn't quite ready for an involuntary vacation.
Aug 5 · Orcas Island
An Orcas Island deputy mediated a driveway dispute on Channel Road, proving once again that shared driveways are where neighborly relations go to take a hard left turn.
Aug 5 · Orcas Island
A San Juan Island deputy accepted a found wallet on a downtown alley—proving that honesty still exists, even if the owner's sense of direction clearly does not.
Aug 5 · San Juan Island
A San Juan Island deputy investigated suspicious smoke on West Valley Road near a gravel pit, only to discover it was just regional wildfire drift—a classic case of smoke without the fire at hand.
Aug 5 · San Juan Island
A San Juan Island deputy responded to a report of three loose dogs on Bailer Hill Road, arriving to find exactly zero suspects at the scene; the pups were either extremely fast or playing the world's best game of hide-and-seek.
Aug 5 · San Juan Island
A San Juan Island deputy logged in a pair of wireless earbuds turned in at the station—now the real question is whether anyone's listening for the owner to call.
Aug 5 · San Juan Island
A San Juan Island deputy responded to a Guard Street situation involving an unwanted person who turned out to just be a car owner exercising his constitutional right to park elsewhere—crisis averted through the ancient art of vehicle relocation.
Aug 5 · San Juan Island
Lopez Island deputies delivered some light reading material (court papers) on Lopez Road and helped ensure firearms were secured faster than you can say "voluntary compliance."
Aug 5 · Lopez Island
A San Juan Island deputy played detective with Sedro-Woolley PD over a medical kit from Peace Island Medical Center, proving that even small islands have red tape.
Aug 5 · San Juan Island
Lopez Island emergency personnel extracted a 5-year-old from a toy washer/dryer, confirming that small appliances are not, in fact, ride-share services.
Aug 5 · Lopez Island
Sheriff's Office fielded a report regarding a runaway juvenile, because apparently this kid didn't get the memo that our island is basically a very expensive, very scenic dead end.
Aug 5
A San Juan Island deputy took a report at the Sheriff's office, proving that paperwork doesn't write itself—unfortunately.
Aug 5 · San Juan Island
An Orcas Island deputy responded to a noise complaint about off-road vehicles on Dolphin Bay Road, but the only violation they found was the sound of their own disappointed sighs.
Aug 5 · Orcas Island
A loose dog was reported barking on the island, but upon arrival, the deputy found nothing but silence—turns out the pup was just practicing its indoor voice.
Aug 4
An Orcas Island deputy checked the area of Eastsound Shores Road after a neighbor complaint—details pending, but rest assured the island's most pressing issues remain at large.
Aug 4 · Eastsound
A Lopez Island deputy helped a resident on Shark Reef Road correct their license plate, because apparently "CLOSE ENUF" doesn't meet DMV standards.
Aug 4 · Lopez Island
A Lopez Island deputy clocked a vehicle doing 43 mph on Fisherman Bay Road—apparently the driver thought the 25 mph zone was more of a suggestion—and issued an infraction for their need for speed.
Aug 4 · Lopez Island
A Lopez Island deputy spotted a moped near Lopez Road and Weeks Road that was somehow operating without a license plate, proving that "optional registration" is not, in fact, optional, and issued multiple warnings.
Aug 4 · Lopez Island
An Orcas Island deputy responded to a noise complaint on Codfish Lane where a fishing boat captain was using a megaphone to chat with a diver—apparently underwater texting wasn't invented yet.
Aug 4 · Orcas Island
A San Juan Island deputy performed a welfare check on Roche Harbor Road after open doors raised concerns, but found the occupant safely in her driveway, just airing out her life choices.
Aug 4 · San Juan Island
A San Juan Island deputy addressed a parking complaint on Argyle Avenue involving a motorhome parked roadside with a running generator—the mobile lifestyle came with mobile noise, apparently.
Aug 4 · San Juan Island
Orcas Island deputies and fire personnel proved that when it comes to rescue operations, they really know how to make a splash—retrieving an exhausted dog from the rocks at Blakes Point Road and bringing it safely to the animal shelter, where hopefully it learned that cliff diving is not a recommended hobby.
Aug 4 · Orcas Island
A San Juan Island deputy investigated reports of flat spokes mysteriously appearing under parked tires on Mullis Street, confirming that someone out there has really taken the concept of "letting the air out of things" to a new level of dedication.
Aug 4 · San Juan Island
A San Juan Island deputy spoke with a resident on Miller Road who received an unexpected package, proving that sometimes the real mystery isn't what's in the box—it's who ordered it in the first place.
Aug 4 · San Juan Island
An Orcas Island deputy helped a business on A Street send a clear message to a repeat unwanted visitor: your presence is neither present nor accounted for.
Aug 4 · Orcas Island
A San Juan Island deputy provided a resident on Second Street with expert guidance on road conditions and mountain passes, because sometimes islanders need a little help understanding what happens when you leave the island.
Aug 4 · San Juan Island
A deputy conducted a thorough search of West Valley and Mitchell Bay Roads for a loose black and white cattle dog, proving that sometimes the best boy is also the best escape artist—and unfortunately, still at large.
Aug 4 · San Juan Island
A resident's dog provided an extended cage-based concert on the island, demonstrating that some performances don't require a ticket or an audience willing to listen.
Aug 4
Deputies responded to a noise complaint on Wold Road, because nothing says "community policing" like asking neighbors to turn down their volume and their attitudes.
Aug 4 · San Juan Island
An Orcas Island deputy became an unwitting contestant on "Who Wants to Be a Millionaire"—wallet edition—when a found billfold arrived at Mt. Baker Road, eventually reuniting with its relieved owner.
Aug 4 · Orcas Island
An Orcas Island Park Ranger investigated a suspicious fire near Cascade Lake and was relieved to discover it was just a legal propane campfire, not an island resident's attempt to roast the entire state park.
Aug 3 · Moran State Park
A Lopez Island deputy was dispatched to assist a family experiencing a diaper emergency, though the situation was resolved faster than you can say "explosive situation" when a local store came through before officers arrived.
Aug 3 · Lopez Island
A San Juan Island deputy had to make a difficult decision regarding an injured fawn on Bailer Hill Road after wildlife rescue proved to be more of a wildlife suggestion.
Aug 3 · San Juan Island
An Orcas Island deputy investigated a suspicious person on A Street who appeared to be conducting unauthorized vehicle inspections through windows—apparently he didn't get the memo that cars don't appreciate unsolicited appraisals.
Aug 3 · Orcas Island
A San Juan Island deputy provided legal parking guidance to a resident on Second Street, clarifying that selling your car doesn't come with the same zoning exceptions as selling lemonade.
Aug 3 · San Juan Island
A San Juan Island deputy educated a First Street resident on proper traffic control protocols, confirming that orange cones are indeed required and enthusiastic hand-waving alone does not constitute official road closure procedures.
Aug 3 · San Juan Island
Someone left a question mark at the Sheriff's Office entrance on Fern Street, which is either the world's most cryptic lost-and-found item or someone's very aggressive way of asking for directions.
Aug 3 · Fern Street
An Orcas Island deputy responded to a report of an unwanted, volatile individual in a gray van near the Auditor's Office—turns out it's hard to be the life of the party when you're parked alone.
Aug 3 · Orcas Island
A San Juan Island deputy reunited a lost wallet with its owner after it was turned in outside a business on A Street, proving that good things do come to those who wait and that at least one islander has their life together.
Aug 3 · San Juan Island
A San Juan Island deputy completed an out-of-state VIN inspection at the Sheriff's Office, successfully cracking the code that is vehicle identification numbers.
Aug 3 · San Juan Island
A Lopez Island deputy received a report of a green and gray pickup truck on Second Street carrying seven passengers, including children, in the open bed—which is either a very committed carpool or a very optimistic interpretation of "truck bed capacity."
Aug 3 · Lopez Island
A San Juan Island deputy investigated a fender-bender on Sutton Road after a transfer station truck proved that backing up is indeed harder than it looks.
Aug 3 · San Juan Island
Turns out the mysterious red substance wasn't a crime scene—just someone's marinara moment.
Aug 3
Orcas Island first responders checked on a driver at the ferry terminal parking area who appeared to be taking a very committed nap, but determined he was fine and sent him on his way, presumably with a coffee recommendation.
Aug 3 · Orcas Island
An Orcas Island deputy investigated a hit-and-run on First Street in Eastsound, proving that some drivers really know how to make an exit.
Aug 3 · Eastsound
An Orcas Island deputy and emergency medical services responded to a Main Street collision in Eastsound involving a bicyclist and a vehicle—a reminder that sharing the road sometimes means literally sharing it.
Aug 3 · Eastsound
A Lopez Island deputy responded to reports of a loose cow near Vista Road and Dusty Road, only to discover the real culprit was a geriatric pig whose owner had apparently misplaced it—proving that sometimes the steaks are lower than you think.
Aug 3 · Lopez Island
A San Juan Island deputy investigated an unattended 30-foot sailboat tied to a private buoy on Warbass Way, confirming that yes, boats do occasionally need supervision, much like teenagers.
Aug 3 · San Juan Island
An Orcas Island deputy responded to littering on A Street after someone thoughtfully left behind a burner and propane tank in a common area—talk about leaving no stone unturned, just a lot of metal equipment.
Aug 3 · Orcas Island
An Orcas Island deputy investigated a report of weapon noise near Crow Valley Road after a single shot rang out from the direction of nearby campers, reminding everyone that the only thing wilder than island camping is island camping with firearms.
Aug 3 · Crow Valley
Deputies responded to a report of a non-aggravated assault on San Juan Island; turns out the only thing that got hurt was someone's feelings, so they called it a day.
Jul 7 · San Juan Island
This was the third visit to the same address this week—apparently our deputies are really committed to their frequent flyer miles.
Jul 7
Deputies responded to a reported overdose on Olga Road, Orcas Island; paramedics arrived and provided emergency care.
Jul 7 · Olga
An Orcas Island deputy took a report of attempted fraud, proving that some people will try to pull the wool over everyone's eyes, even on an island where everyone knows everyone.
Jul 7 · Orcas Island
An Orcas Island deputy took a report of a no-contact order violation via text message; unfortunately, the mystery of "Who Is Sender?" remains unsolved, making this the island's smallest cold case.
Jul 7 · Orcas Island
A Lopez Island deputy played the world's shortest game of hide-and-seek when locating a juvenile in crisis—turns out the "hiding" part was optional, and a speedy reunion with their parent was achieved.
Jul 7 · Lopez Island
A San Juan Island husband decided that after a few drinks, the best relationship advice he could follow was "let's take a timeout," and agreed to spend the night elsewhere—couples therapy, island-style.
Jul 7 · San Juan Island
A San Juan Island domestic incident report turned out to be a false alarm, proving that sometimes the drama on our islands stays strictly off-island.
Jul 6 · San Juan Island
Deputies responded to a second overdose call at the same Olga Road address, suggesting that some addresses really do have a way of making the highlight reel.
Jul 6 · Olga
An island resident's pet was cited for public nuisance, because apparently even our four-legged friends can't resist making a spectacle of themselves.
Jul 6
A deputy responded to a ruff situation when one canine decided to turn another into a chew toy; the victim pup needed medical attention while the aggressor faced the long leash of the law.
Jul 6 · San Juan Island
A delivery driver learned an expensive lesson about backing up when they knocked over a tree and then ghosted the scene; nothing says "professional" like leaving your automotive fender-bender to become someone else's problem.
Jul 6 · San Juan Island
Someone decided to give the Lopez Island Land Bank vault toilet a real blast at the holidays—turns out fireworks and portable plumbing don't mix, and now it's a throne with a view of the damage report.
Jul 6 · Lopez Island
A ferry-line dispute over boarding priority nearly took off, but a deputy's intervention kept things grounded and resolved the matter without any real turbulence.
Jul 6 · Orcas Island
A local resident reported a attempted financial heist, but the scammer picked the wrong target—the money stayed safe, the feds already had a heads up, and the bank was in the loop before we even got the call.
Jul 6 · Orcas Island
A San Juan Island deputy discovered some unwanted "bathroom reading material" in a public restroom—specifically, suspected methamphetamine that's now heading straight to evidence lockup for its final flush.
Jul 6 · San Juan Island
Deputies responded to an overdose report on Olga Road, Orcas Island, where someone had clearly taken "just one more" a bit too literally.
Jul 5 · Olga
Deputies responded to a rescue call near Cady Mountain Road on San Juan Island; turns out someone needed a hand getting down from their high horse—or possibly just a high place.
Jul 5 · San Juan Island
A wildland fire near Jackson Beach Road on San Juan Island turned out to be all smoke and no crime—though we're sure the fire was still pretty lit.
Jul 5 · San Juan Island
A missing person report was filed on San Juan Island; if you see them, they're probably the ones who look like they've been missing.
Jul 5 · San Juan Island
A Lopez Island deputy responded to a disturbance between two people and managed to resolve things without anyone having to file for emotional damages—a win in the reconciliation department.
Jul 5 · Lopez Island
An Orcas Island dog decided to test Shaw Island's scooter safety standards by causing a minor accident, earning its owner a strongly worded letter that basically says "your pup's off-leash policy needs to be on a leash."
Jul 5 · Shaw Island
Two vehicles collided in Eastsound, and after some detective work, one driver was found guilty of failing to yield and also failing to yield their insurance card, which is apparently a combo move.
Jul 5 · Eastsound
Deputies investigated a report of explosives on Orcas Road and determined the only thing that blew up was someone's concern for nothing.
Jul 4 · Orcas Road
Sucia Island residents reported weapon noise again, but the only thing getting shot down this time was the report itself—no crime found.
Jul 4 · Sucia Island
Deputies investigated mysterious bangs near Argyle Avenue and Cattle Point Road, only to discover the real crime was someone's noise pollution—fortunately, no actual weapons were involved.
Jul 4 · Argyle Avenue
A unwanted guest at a San Juan Island residence learned the hard way that "mi casa es su casa" doesn't apply when you're not invited; they received a formal trespass warning letter.
Jul 4 · San Juan Island
A Lopez Island driver was caught doing 45 in a 25 near Fisherman Bay Road and Normandy Lane—apparently they thought the speed limit was a suggestion, not a law; reckless driving citation and speeding infraction issued.
Jul 4 · Lopez Island
Another Lopez Island speedster was clocked at 38 in a 25 near Fisherman Bay Road and Dragon Run Road; they've been formally informed that "25" means "25," not "25-ish."
Jul 3 · Lopez Island
An Orcas Island deputy provided compassionate support to an individual in crisis, connecting them with a crisis responder and establishing a care plan for ongoing help.
Jul 3 · Orcas Island
An Orcas Island deputy responded to a trespassing complaint at an Eastsound business, where management decided one patron had worn out their welcome—literally and figuratively.
Jul 3 · Eastsound
A visiting relative learned the hard way that not all island dogs are as friendly as the tourism board suggests; the bite resulted in non-life-threatening injuries and a call to the Health Department and Prosecutor.
Jul 2
An Orcas Island deputy responded to a report from a Lopez Island resident, though the incident details were apparently as incomplete as this police blotter entry.
Jul 2 · Lopez Island
An Orcas Island deputy responded to a reported order violation in Eastsound, only to discover the reporting party had simply misread the order—a case of "never mind, we'll just leave you a copy."
Jul 2 · Eastsound
A resident discovered that their neighbor's tires had apparently developed a vendetta against their vehicle, flinging rocks in what can only be described as automotive betrayal.
Jul 1
One island driver discovered that asking to borrow someone else's license is not, in fact, a valid form of ID.
Jul 1
A Friday Harbor resident learned the hard way that "insurance" and "valid license" are not optional accessories—they're more like the seatbelts of paperwork.
Jul 1 · Friday Harbor
A Lovers Lane traffic stop proved that romance and valid documentation don't always go hand in hand, as the driver racked up infractions for speeding, missing insurance, and operating without a license.
Jul 1 · Orcas Island
A Lopez Island speedster decided 52 mph was the right answer to "what's 35 plus aggressive," and earned themselves an infraction and some friendly reminders about posted limits.
Jul 1 · Lopez Island
A Cove incident ended with one driver arrested for DUI and charged with four counts of assault in the fourth degree after attempting an early exit from the scene.
Jul 1
Deputies responded to a four-person disagreement at Deadman—turns out it wasn't actually dead, just very much alive and argumentative.
Jul 1 · San Juan Island
A Lopez Island deputy investigated a report of someone dressed as Ghostface near the beach—turns out the only thing being murdered that day was the dress code.
Jun 30 · Lopez Island
A Lopez Island driver learned that going 40 in a 25 is a lot like a bad horror movie: it ends with a ticket.
Jun 29 · Lopez Island
A San Juan Island resident with an outstanding felony warrant discovered that island life has its limits—specifically, the jail kind.
Jun 29 · San Juan Island
A Lopez Island deputy responded to a suspicious call and documented it, which is either great police work or the world's most boring reality TV pitch.
Jun 29 · Lopez Island
An Orcas Island deputy helped document some questionable paraphernalia left by a previous tenant, proving that not all island mysteries are charming.
Jun 29 · Orcas Island
A Friday Harbor inmate decided that the best way to greet his ride off-island was with a swift introduction to a deputy—assault charges are now heading to the Prosecuting Attorney's office, because apparently "have a nice day" wasn't in his vocabulary.
Jun 29 · Friday Harbor
A deputy responded to an order violation on Orcas Island and discovered that the respondent apparently can't read, which is how they ended up being charged with violating the order.
Jun 29 · Orcas Island
Someone took their frustrations with Peninsula Park's fence very personally, causing severe damage in what we're calling "criminal manner" (as opposed to the totally legal way to destroy fencing, which doesn't exist).
Jun 29
A local businessperson at the Eastsound Farmers Market found a cell phone on June 20 and did what heroes do: turned it in instead of checking the photos like the rest of us.
Jun 29 · Eastsound
Lopez deputies are investigating vehicle damage involving juveniles—because apparently some kids skipped the memo that other people's cars aren't free practice dummies.
Jun 28
Some island soul left their stuff behind, and our crack evidence team carefully catalogued it as "things that aren't ours anymore."
Jun 28
A deputy reunited a San Juan Islander with their lost property via long-distance phone call—basically playing the world's least exciting game of hot and cold from 3,000 miles away.
Jun 28 · San Juan Island
A mail thief learned the hard way that assault, theft, and threatening a deputy is a terrible trifecta, earning themselves a one-way ticket to jail where they can contemplate their life choices.
Jun 28
A motorcyclist on Roche Harbor Road discovered that doing 70 in a 45 is not only illegal, but also apparently illegal to do while passing—a double-whammy they'll remember every time they see that road.
Jun 27 · Roche Harbor Road
Our deputies investigated what may or may not have been a break-in attempt, which is to say they documented the island's most ambiguous crime scene.
Jun 27
An Eastsound garage learned the hard way that windows make poor security systems when someone decided to break one and leave a tool behind—apparently the burglar's version of a business card.
Jun 27 · Eastsound
A driver was pulled over for impressively checking all the boxes: no license, wheels wandering off the road like they were exploring, no insurance, and registration that expired so long ago it qualified as a historical document.
Jun 27
A driver on Enchanted Forest Road proved that the road's name was ironic by getting arrested for DUI and racking up infractions for operating without a valid license—enchanted by all the wrong substances.
Jun 27 · Enchanted Forest Road
A business in Eastsound has decided they'd prefer a certain individual's company elsewhere, so that person is now officially trespassed from the property and all its associated locations—a permanent "Do Not Disturb" sign.
Jun 26 · Eastsound
Similar to [11113], a business in the Rosario area has made it abundantly clear that a certain person's presence is unwanted, and that individual is now trespassed from all associated businesses on the island.
Jun 26 · Rosario
A Lopez individual was having a rough day mentally, so deputies connected them with crisis responders and mental health resources—because sometimes the best response is pointing people toward actual help.
Jun 26
An Orcas deputy investigated a Waldron Island harassment complaint, determined no crime had occurred, and sent the reporting party home with resources and the knowledge that not everything requires a police report.
Jun 25 · Orcas Island
An Orcas deputy responded to a motorcycle accident on Mt. Baker Road, but the rider peeled out before arriving—apparently they were really committed to their "hit and run" interpretation of "fleeing the scene."
Jun 25 · Orcas Island
A bicyclist on Orcas Island reported a road rage incident with a vehicle in the Rosario area; they decided against pressing charges, proving that sometimes the high road is better than the high-speed one.
Jun 25 · Rosario
A Lopez Island driver near Fisherman Bay Road learned that expired registration is like expired milk—eventually someone notices, and they're not happy about it; they got an infraction and some friendly warnings to boot.
Jun 24 · Lopez Island
A Lopez Island deputy caught a speed demon doing 44 in a 25 on Fisherman Bay Road—apparently the driver thought the speed limit was more of a suggestion, like a restaurant's seating capacity.
Jun 24 · Lopez Island
A San Juan Island deputy delivered some unwanted company their official eviction paperwork—nothing says "don't come back" quite like a trespass warning letter signed in triplicate.
Jun 24 · San Juan Island
A San Juan Island deputy gave an unwanted person the boot in the form of a trespass warning letter, which is basically the legal equivalent of being ghosted, but worse.
Jun 23 · San Juan Island
An Orcas Island deputy responded to a reported domestic incident that turned out to be much ado about nothing, but arrested the person involved anyway for driving with a suspended license and ditching their required ignition interlock—apparently they had other, more pressing violations on their plate.
Jun 23 · Orcas Island
An Orcas Island deputy clocked a driver going 62 in a 40 zone—looks like someone mistook the speed limit sign for a gentle suggestion rather than actual numbers.
Jun 22 · Orcas Island
A deputy on Orcas Island conducted a welfare check after receiving a request—turns out the island's concern for its own is alive and well.
Jun 22 · Orcas Island
A San Juan Island deputy took custody of a found iPhone with a cracked screen and no power; looks like someone's device had a real *crash* course in island living.
Jun 21 · San Juan Island
A vehicle on the island met an immovable object (a tree) and lost—our condolences to both parties involved.
Jun 21
A deputy on Orcas Island responded to a hit-and-run complaint and launched an investigation, though the details got a bit *hit* or miss in the reporting.
Jun 21 · Orcas Island
A San Juan deputy located a subject in violation of a court order and driving with a suspended license, securing a one-way trip to jail courtesy of poor decision-making.
Jun 21
A San Juan deputy discovered that a vehicle was taking the road's center line a bit too literally, along with some creative interpretations of stop signs — turns out the driver was operating under the influence of poor decision-making (and other substances).
Jun 21
A Lopez resident had an unfortunate encounter with a customer who apparently didn't understand the concept of "customer service" going both ways; deputies are looking into whether this person needs a refresher course in basic human decency.
Jun 20
Lopez deputies investigated a death and determined that no foul play was involved — sometimes the only crime here is the passage of time itself.
Jun 20
Lopez deputies responded to a family disagreement involving a teenager, which apparently qualifies as a non-criminal offense — shocking, we know.
Jun 20
A deputy on Orcas Island caught a driver doing 60 in a 35 on Mt. Baker Road, which is what we call "optimistic" speed selection, and issued them an infraction to help recalibrate their understanding of the rules.
Jun 19 · Orcas Island
A deputy answered an alarm call and found someone had decided a County vehicle was the perfect place to crash—turns out breaking and entering doesn't improve your real estate options, and our uninvited guest is now enjoying complimentary County accommodations.
Jun 19
A deputy responded to a dog problem on Orcas Island, where one canine's owner learned that "dangerous" and "public nuisance" aren't exactly the kind of recognition you want—the owner is now facing charges, and the dog is presumably confused about why this happened.
Jun 18 · Orcas Island
Deputies responded to a domestic incident on San Juan Island; one party was arrested for fourth-degree assault after things got physical—we're keeping this one brief because nobody wins in these situations.
Jun 17 · San Juan Island
A deputy checked on an unwanted visitor lurking around Doe Bay on Orcas Island and politely informed them that trespassing was not the vibe, complete with an official warning letter—consider it a "you're not welcome here" greeting card.
Jun 17 · Doe Bay
A deputy received a mysterious bag of keys with no owner in sight—apparently someone on San Juan Island decided to play the world's worst shell game, and these orphaned keys are now in evidence storage waiting for their lost-and-found reunion.
Jun 17 · San Juan Island
A Lopez Island resident decided to make threats, which turned out to be a real warrant idea—turns out they had an outstanding one, and now they're enjoying complimentary county accommodations.
Jun 16 · Lopez Island
A driver in the 5600 block of Center Road discovered that operating a vehicle without insurance is, shockingly, illegal, and left with an infraction and some friendly reminders about following the law.
Jun 15 · Lopez Island
A speed demon was clocked doing 47 in a 25 at Moran State Park—apparently missed the memo that "scenic drive" doesn't mean "fast drive."
Jun 15 · Moran State Park
A San Juan Island resident reported a missing purse, and deputies completed a report, though the purse's whereabouts remain as mysterious as a ghost in the San Juan Strait.
Jun 15 · San Juan Island
An unknown vandal took out their frustrations on a fence post in San Juan Island, and while the fence post can't talk, it's definitely pressing charges.
Jun 15 · San Juan Island
A ferry full of passengers learned the hard way that "wrong ferry" is not a valid travel destination—apparently they were trying to make Friday Harbor's earlier departure, but the boat had already left them in its wake.
Jun 14 · Friday Harbor
A Lopez Island deputy found property and documented it, proving that even lost items deserve their fifteen minutes of paperwork.
Jun 14 · Lopez Island
A backpack was found in Friday Harbor and turned into evidence after the deputy's attempts to reunite it with its owner went unanswered—guess you could say the owner really dropped the ball on this one.
Jun 14 · San Juan Island
Several firearms were turned in for destruction on Lopez Island, officially ending their reign of concern.
Jun 14 · Lopez Island
A Lopez Island resident reported a lost wallet, which is never a good sign for one's financial health or weekend plans.
Jun 14
A Lopez driver decided to test the guard rail's structural integrity by launching their vehicle down an embankment—spoiler alert, the rail won. The driver was airlifted to the hospital, where they're also being investigated for driving under the influence, which really puts the "impaired judgment" in "impaired driving."
Jun 14
Some enterprising boaters discovered that "private beach" apparently means "free parking," but deputies politely explained the concept of property lines and sent them on their way.
Jun 13
Orcas Island deputies responded to a domestic dispute in Eastsound that turned out to be just a heated verbal argument; no crimes were committed, though tensions were definitely running high and resources were provided to help smooth things over.
Jun 13 · Eastsound
A San Juan deputy arrested an individual for criminal trespass in the first degree and obstructing a law enforcement officer after the person made threats—turns out "go away" was more than just friendly advice.
Jun 12
A Lopez driver was clocked doing 46 mph in a 25 mph zone on Fisherman Bay Road, which suggests they either didn't see the speed limit sign or thought it was a suggestion, not a speed limit.
Jun 12 · Fisherman Bay Road
A local man decided to take "breaking and entering" quite literally on Friday Harbor, collecting charges for burglary, theft, vehicle prowling, and malicious mischief—basically a one-man crime spree that makes us wonder if he was trying to set some kind of island record.
Jun 12 · Friday Harbor
Multiple agencies responded to a matter now under investigation, which is about as specific as we can get without spoiling the mystery.
Jun 11
Multiple agencies including State Patrol, Orcas Island Fire, and the Coroner responded to an incident—details remain under wraps, but it was serious enough to call in the big guns.
Jun 11 · Orcas Island
Lopez Fire & EMS responded to a wildland fire that turned out to be caused by a single-vehicle fatality collision, a tragic reminder that some fires start long before the flames do.
Jun 11
A San Juan deputy pulled over a driver who apparently thought the one-year anniversary of their vehicle purchase was the new deadline for transferring the title; they learned the hard way that the state deadline is actually 45 days, and that driving without insurance is also frowned upon.
Jun 10
Local driver discovered that "suspended license" doesn't mean they get to hang around the roads guilt-free—they were cited for driving with a suspended license in the third degree and ticketed for traveling insurance-free.
Jun 10
A San Juan deputy clocked someone doing their best impression of a road-legal driver despite operating on a suspended license—turns out the suspension was supposed to suspend their driving privileges, not their sense of invincibility.
Jun 10
Orcas Island deputies responded to a theft complaint and launched an investigation that's still cooking slower than island ferry schedules.
Jun 10 · Orcas Island
An Orcas Island injury accident required the full island hospitality package: one helicopter airlift and professional vehicle removal, courtesy of Orcas Towing's unwanted shuttle service.
Jun 10 · Orcas Island
A Lopez beachcomber's found pill container tested negative for drugs, proving that not all beach treasures are the kind you want to find—this one just went straight to the Sheriff's evidence locker for safekeeping.
Jun 10
Someone took "express yourself" a little too literally on this vehicle, racking up damage that'll cost a pretty penny to fix—unfortunately, the deputy's crystal ball was in the shop, so the culprit remains a mystery.
Jun 10
An Eastsound resident's property became an unwitting canvas for some amateur street art, though the deputy's investigation turned out to be more of a sketch than a masterpiece.
Jun 10 · Eastsound
A San Juan Island resident learned the hard way that domestic disputes don't stay private—or unpunished. One person was arrested for fourth-degree assault, domestic violence.
Jun 9 · San Juan Island
A Lopez parent discovered that parking at the elementary school lot comes with an unwanted "bumper sticker special"—their vehicle sustained damage while parked there on June 4.
Jun 8
A vehicle on Orcas Road was weaving through traffic like it was auditioning for a demolition derby; deputies pulled over the driver and found they were operating under the influence, resulting in an arrest.
Jun 7 · Orcas Road
Two recreational shrimp harvesters got an unplanned swimming lesson when their vessel decided to become a submarine; good Samaritans rescued both before they could audition for a sea cucumber documentary, and Lopez EMS confirmed they were cold but otherwise unharmed.
Jun 7
A Lopez driver on Fisherman Bay Road decided 40 mph wasn't just a suggestion in a 25 mph zone—turns out the previous warnings were also not suggestions, and an infraction was issued.
Jun 6 · Fisherman Bay Road
A Washington driver decided to test whether expired tabs from last year still count as "vintage," and also forgot to bring proof of insurance—turns out the answer to both questions was no, so they got a full set of infractions to commemorate the occasion.
Jun 6
A Lopez resident took an unscheduled extended tour of the island and was located by EMS in good condition, proving that getting lost is still technically a form of sightseeing.
Jun 6
Deputies responded to a domestic dispute in Deer Harbor and made an arrest for three counts of fourth-degree assault, domestic violence.
Jun 5 · Deer Harbor
A Lopez deputy investigated a school bus stop sign disagreement where both parties had completely different interpretations of what happened, so no infraction was issued and everyone got to keep their version of the truth.
Jun 5
An Orcas deputy responded to a harassment complaint in Beach Haven and learned that the reporting party's real goal was simply to have it on the record—mission accomplished, paperwork filed.
Jun 5
A San Juan deputy clocked a speed demon doing 44 in a 25—apparently the driver thought "posted speed limit" was more of a suggestion, a vibe, a gentle starting point. Things escalated faster than their vehicle when they hit the gas, earning themselves a trifecta of infractions: speeding, driving without a valid license, and an unregistered car—a hat trick of "oops."
Jun 4
An Orcas deputy responded to a road rage incident in Eastsound, where apparently someone forgot that aggressive honking is not, in fact, a love language.
Jun 4 · Eastsound
A Lopez deputy mediated a mooring dispute in Fisherman Bay, because nothing says "peaceful island living" like boaters who can't seem to stay in their own space—literally.
Jun 4
A reporting party called in with information, though apparently their name was as elusive as the actual details of the incident.
Jun 3
A San Juan deputy took a report of fraud involving a fraudulent account opened in the victim's name, proving that identity theft is the sincerest form of flattery nobody asked for.
Jun 3
An Eastsound resident fell victim to a fraud scheme but managed to keep their wallet intact—turns out the only thing that got stolen was their peace of mind.
Jun 3 · Eastsound
Local authorities responded to a domestic violence incident involving additional felony and gross misdemeanor charges—proving once again that some relationships really do hit rock bottom.
Jun 1
Deputies tracked down a suspect near Dolphin Bay on Orcas Island following a domestic dispute near Victorian Valley; the individual was arrested for fourth-degree assault and was found to be armed, which definitely didn't help their case.
Jun 1 · Orcas Island
A San Juan Island deputy investigated a report of an adult possibly furnishing alcohol to a minor—a classic case of someone not understanding the word "minor" in the legal sense.
Jun 1 · San Juan Island
A San Juan Island deputy documented a report of unauthorized tree removal on a property, which is one way to really get to the root of the problem.
Jun 1 · San Juan Island
A San Juan Island deputy accepted a found keychain with zero keys attached into evidence—proving that sometimes the real treasure is the useless items we find along the way.
May 31 · San Juan Island
A deputy responded to a case of diesel theft in West Sound—apparently someone thought "fuel surcharge" meant helping themselves. A report was generated, and we're still searching for the culprit, who is presumably very well-lubricated by now.
May 31 · West Sound
Deputies took a report of trailer theft on San Juan Island, proving once again that some people have a very loose interpretation of "borrowing."
May 31 · San Juan Island
Two dogs on Orcas Island went rogue near Glenwood and gave a local cat an unwanted spa day—complete with slobber treatments. The dog owner learned that "at large" is not a size description and received an infraction to prove it.
May 31 · Orcas Island
An alleged assault on San Juan Island was investigated, but the evidence didn't quite add up—so no charges were filed, and everyone involved got to move on with their day.
May 30
A San Juan Island homeowner and a civil process server had a disagreement that required the Sheriff to step in and remind everyone that some papers really do need to be served.
May 30 · San Juan Island
A Lopez visitor discovered that the speed limit near the Village is not a suggestion—or a speed goal—after being clocked at 46 in a 25 and issued an infraction.
May 30
An Orcas Island driver received a speeding infraction for doing 47 in a 35, plus a complimentary collection of verbal warnings—basically the police blotter equivalent of a stern look.
May 30 · Orcas Island
Two motorists in the Raccoon Point area experienced a minor fender bender and handled it like adults, exchanging information without involving law enforcement—truly the hero's journey we didn't know we needed.
May 30 · Orcas Island
A San Juan Island deputy responded to and documented a report of a sex offense at the victim's request.
May 29
A San Juan Island deputy responded with EMS and Fire to provide CPR to an individual who, despite extensive resuscitation efforts, was pronounced deceased on scene.
May 29 · San Juan Island
Driver discovered that a valid license and insurance are not optional accessories, much like seatbelts and common sense.
May 29
One driver learned the hard way that 65 mph in a 45 mph zone is not a "suggested speed" — they also learned they can't drive without a license or insurance, which, shockingly, are both required.
May 29 · Roche Harbor Road
A burglar's attempt at home invasion was thwarted by the small matter of deputies existing, leaving behind only regret and evidence for the authorities.
May 29
Deputies investigated a traffic offense on Mt. Baker Road and completed a report, proving that even small-island traffic drama gets the full official treatment.
May 28 · Orcas Island
Orcas Island emergency responders handled a domestic incident in Deer Harbor that resulted in a victim receiving care and one less person on the island's free roster for the foreseeable future.
May 28 · Deer Harbor
A Lopez citizen turned in a rifle to the Sheriff, proving that sometimes people do voluntarily hand over their firearms without needing a strongly worded letter.
May 28
Orcas Island deputies responded to a residential burglary near Osprey Hill, though the burglar apparently decided to ghost the scene—no suspects found, no footage, just a documented mystery for the books.
May 28 · Orcas Island
A deputy, San Juan EMS, and San Juan Fire responded to a cardiac emergency, but despite their best efforts, the individual could not be revived; our hearts go out to all involved as the investigation continues.
May 28
A San Juan Island deputy conducted a welfare check in Friday Harbor, located the individual, and arranged transportation to the hospital for the care he needed.
May 27 · San Juan Island
A Lopez Island deputy responded to a trespassing call and documented the incident, officially making the unwanted visitor's visit official.
May 27 · Lopez Island
A silver bracelet turned up on San Juan Island like a tiny, wrist-sized mystery—now sitting in our evidence room, waiting for its owner to have a "moment of clarity" about where they left it.
May 27 · San Juan Island
Looks like someone's lost-and-found paperwork got a bit tangled in the system here, but rest assured, that bracelet is being held with the care and security of a dragon guarding its treasure.
May 27
A credit card was discovered on San Juan Island and checked into our property room—we're keeping it safer than its original owner apparently did.
May 27 · San Juan Island
A San Juan Island citizen called for assistance, and a deputy provided the kind of phone support that costs nothing but is worth its weight in gold.
May 26 · San Juan Island
A Lopez Island fender-bender was dispatched, observed, documented, and filed away—proof that even on a small island, the laws of physics still apply to parked cars.
May 26 · Lopez Island
Someone decided our street signs made better souvenirs than directions—Lopez Island deputies are now playing the world's least fun treasure hunt to find them.
May 26 · Lopez Island
A San Juan Island driver discovered that hydroplaning plus curves plus trees equals a very expensive reminder that physics always wins.
May 25 · San Juan Island
A driver on Fisherman Bay Road learned the hard way that 42 in a 25 zone isn't a suggestion—it's a math problem with consequences.
May 25 · Fisherman Bay Road
A vehicle-dwelling entrepreneur was informed that the parking lot of a local business is not, in fact, a residential community—trespassing citation issued.
May 25
A chainsaw operator on Lopez Island learned that extremities and saw blades don't mix well; deputies and EMS would like to remind everyone that chaps aren't just a fashion statement, they're a lifestyle choice.
May 24 · Lopez Island
A Lopez Island deputy investigated a trespassing incident on Decatur Island—turns out someone was really committed to the "no trespassing" sign's creative interpretation.
May 24 · Lopez Island
A driver on Lopez Road learned the hard way that 38 mph in a 25 mph zone isn't a suggestion—it's a speed limit, and apparently their foot didn't get the memo.
May 24 · Lopez Island
An Orcas Island deputy solved a theft case that turned out to be a real-life game of "Where's Waldo," except the item was found and the complainant felt appropriately sheepish.
May 24 · Orcas Island
An Orcas Island deputy investigated a traffic complaint involving a bicyclist and a vehicle, but determined the driver didn't quite cross the legal finish line for endangerment charges.
May 24 · Orcas Island
A San Juan deputy assisted a citizen in removing handcuffs—a situation that could've been avoided if someone had remembered that "spare key" and "home" shouldn't be such distant cousins.
May 24
A deputy clocked a speed demon on Mt. Baker Road doing 49 in a 35—apparently that driver thought the speed limit was more of a suggestion than a law. They received an infraction for their enthusiasm.
May 23 · Orcas Island
An item turned into the Sheriff's Office found its way into evidence as lost property—proving that on this island, what's lost eventually becomes found, and then becomes very officially documented.
May 23
A deputy accepted custody of found property at the Sheriff's Office, because apparently this island's lost and found has a badge and a filing system.
May 23 · San Juan Island
A deputy responded to an unexpected death in the Doe Bay area and found no signs of foul play, which is the kind of call where everyone involved hopes the coroner agrees with the lack of suspicious circumstances.
May 23 · Doe Bay
A Lopez Island deputy investigated a traffic hazard at Center Road and Fisherman Bay Road, only to discover someone had been playing stop-sign vandal—two signs were altered, and the investigation is still rolling to figure out who thought they were a traffic engineer.
May 23 · Lopez Island
A vehicle door got a little too friendly with another vehicle at a local parking spot, resulting in minor damage and a report that will live in filing cabinets forever.
May 23
A gust of wind proved that Mother Nature is the island's most aggressive door-opener, leaving a San Juan deputy to document nature's handiwork.
May 23
A Lopez resident received some unwelcome attention from a gentleman caller, which—spoiler alert—was not appreciated, and deputies reviewed all the options that definitely don't include a second date.
May 23
Deputies responded to a tragedy on Orcas Island; our thoughts are with those affected by this loss.
May 22 · Orcas Island
A San Juan driver discovered that seatbelts aren't just a suggestion—they're apparently a legal requirement, and an infraction was issued to help jog their memory.
May 22
A San Juan deputy responded to a domestic incident that turned out to be more of a misunderstanding than a crime scene, so the reporting party was connected with SAFE San Juans for support.
May 22
An Orcas Island resident learned an expensive lesson about parking: never leave your gas tank unattended on this island, or someone might decide to make a withdrawal without asking permission.
May 22 · Orcas Island
An Orcas Island fugitive decided that turning herself in was the right move, posted bail like a responsible wanted person, and was released without further drama.
May 22 · Orcas Island
A Lopez resident discovered that someone had taken "trimming the hedges" a little too literally by doing unauthorized tree work on their property—apparently trespassing came with the landscaping package.
May 22
An Orcas Island driver learned two hard lessons on Crow Valley Road: one, the speed limit is not a suggestion, and two, driving with a suspended license is an even worse idea than doing 54 in a 35.
May 21 · Crow Valley
A local driver decided that emergency vehicle lights and sirens are merely suggestions, leading deputies on a three-mile tour of San Juan before receiving a citation for their apparent unfamiliarity with the concept of "yielding."
May 21
One probationer discovered that "conditions of release" aren't really conditions—more like gentle guidelines—and has now been reported to adult probation for their creative interpretation of the rules.
May 20
A male patron demonstrated his extensive vocabulary to a bartender in a way that was equal parts belligerent and crude; he had the good sense to leave before deputies arrived to discuss his communication skills.
May 20
A Friday Harbor driver was stopped for treating the entire island as his personal concert venue, with amplified music audible from 75 feet away despite a previous friendly reminder that volume control exists.
May 20 · San Juan Island
An individual engaged in a dispute but wisely decided to disengage before law enforcement could arrive and complicate his day further.
May 20
A deputy investigated a report of a man in his 50s following a female in a Chevy Bolt—we're still waiting for the rest of this incident report, but we assume it didn't end with him asking for directions.
May 20
A San Juan Island resident discovered their vehicle window had mysteriously shattered, which is either a case of spontaneous glass combustion or something worth investigating—either way, a report was filed.
May 20 · San Juan Island
A driver on San Juan Island learned that turning left without insurance is a lot like turning left without checking your mirrors: illegal and generally not recommended, so they received an infraction and some friendly warnings.
May 20 · Argyle Avenue
An Eastsound resident fell victim to fraud and took a significant financial hit—reminder to our community: if someone's using high-pressure tactics to get your money or personal info, they're not your friend, they're just a very persistent telemarketer with bad intentions.
May 20 · Eastsound
[Incident details appear to be missing, much like this sentence's subject matter.]
May 20
A Friday Harbor man decided that protection orders are more like "suggestions," so he got a one-way trip to the Sheriff's office to learn why they're actually legally binding documents.
May 20 · Friday Harbor
A Friday Harbor gentleman decided to take "domestic disputes" a bit too literally and landed himself a fourth-degree assault charge—apparently he didn't realize "working through your feelings" doesn't mean working through a person. He's now enjoying an all-expenses-paid stay at the county jail pending his date with the judge.
May 19 · Friday Harbor
A Lopez resident has passed away. An investigation was completed and concluded.
May 18
A missing person report on San Juan Island turned out to be a false alarm when deputies located the individual safe and sound; EMS checked them over just to be thorough, because nothing says "welcome home" like a wellness evaluation.
May 18 · San Juan Island
A deputy on San Juan Island found a credit card and took it into custody—apparently it was maxed out on bad decisions, but we're holding it pending reunification with its owner.
May 18 · San Juan Island
An altercation at the Orcas ferry landing reminded everyone that the only thing that should be arriving or departing is the ferry itself, not fists.
May 18
A deputy on Orcas Island responded to a mental health crisis call, though it turns out the real crime was an outstanding warrant—talk about multi-tasking your way into trouble.
May 18 · Orcas Island
A San Juan Island deputy played "Where's Waldo" with an active warrant and won; the subject is now enjoying complimentary accommodations at San Juan County Jail.
May 17 · San Juan Island
An Orcas deputy investigated a theft at West Sound where a mysterious truck and its two occupants decided to help themselves to some services in the wee hours—if you've got intel, the Sheriff's office is all ears.
May 17 · West Sound
[Unable to rewrite: incomplete incident data provided]
May 16
A San Juan deputy located a Texas wallet that had apparently traveled further west than its owner could follow—if it's yours, the Sheriff's office is ready to reunite you with your long-lost leather friend.
May 16
A driver discovered that "suspended license" doesn't mean their driving privileges are just taking a little break—they got a citation for driving with a suspended license in the third degree.
May 16
A San Juan deputy stopped a vehicle whose driver was operating with a suspended license, which is apparently not the same as having a license that's just being modest about showing up.
May 16
A domestic assault case on Orcas resulted in one party's arrest for assault in the fourth degree—proving once again that home really is where the heart is, but sometimes also where the legal trouble is.
May 16
A tractor accident near Deer Harbor on Orcas ended without serious injuries, though the tractor learned an important lesson about staying in its lane—much like the rest of us.
May 15 · Deer Harbor
One driver decided to go for a combo deal: operating with a suspended license in the third degree plus an infraction for no insurance, because why stop at one violation when you can have two?
May 15
A San Juan deputy pulled over a driver whose license was suspended—apparently they thought the rules didn't apply to them, but spoiler alert: they do.
May 15
The Lopez Community Center reported that the skate park had become an all-you-can-trash buffet, complete with property damage as an appetizer.
May 15
A San Juan deputy encountered a vehicle sporting 2024 registration tags, which, as it turns out, expired in 2024—a real calendar conundrum that resulted in an infraction.
May 14
Lopez deputies responded to a medical emergency that required CPR efforts; despite their intervention, the individual could not be revived.
May 14
An Orcas Island deputy resolved a trespassing matter at an Eastsound business by issuing a trespass letter, and the subject agreed to actually read it this time.
May 14 · Eastsound
An Orcas Island resident discovered they had an outstanding Department of Corrections warrant—turns out you can't just ignore the mail forever—and was taken into custody.
May 13 · Orcas Island
A hit-and-run in Eastsound ended with both drivers having a much less pleasant conversation than they'd hoped for when they left the scene.
May 13 · Eastsound
A Friday Harbor resident learned the hard way that if someone's asking for your banking details over the phone, they're probably not from Banner Bank—she lost $3,800 via Cash App to prove it.
May 13 · Friday Harbor
Deputies responded to a drug call in Lopez and found a small bag of methamphetamine in a parking lot, which raises the question: who's out here just leaving their stuff behind like it's a lost water bottle?
May 13
A Friday Harbor resident decided to test whether court-ordered conditions were more like "guidelines," and spoiler alert: they're not. The matter has been referred to adult probation, who will now have some reading to do.
May 5 · Friday Harbor
An Orcas Island deputy responded to a harassment complaint and discovered it was actually just a civil matter—turns out the law can't help when people are being difficult, only when they're being illegal. The reporting party was armed with civil resources and sent on their way.
May 4 · Orcas Island
A driver on Orcas Road thought the 40 mph speed limit was more of a suggestion, hitting 62 mph instead—a mathematical error that cost them an infraction and a stern reminder that math applies to traffic laws too.
May 4 · Orcas Island
An Eastsound-area resident reported some items had gone missing from their home, which is concerning until you realize nothing says "I'm definitely keeping these" quite like theft. A report was filed and documented for posterity.
May 4 · Eastsound
A San Juan Island deputy followed up on an Adult Protective Services referral, spoke with the reported victim, gathered available information, and completed a report—proving that sometimes the most important police work involves listening and paperwork.
May 4 · San Juan Island
Two Friday Harbor vehicles met at a four-way intersection and decided to occupy the same space—a collision of both metal and poor yield-ing judgment.
May 4 · Friday Harbor
A San Juan deputy initiated a traffic stop for speeding in the 500 block of Roche Harbor Road, but the driver apparently thought "yield" was just a suggestion—they led our deputy on a half-mile scenic tour through several intersections before accepting their infraction for doing 42 in a 25.
May 3 · Roche Harbor Road
A San Juan deputy responded to a citizen dispute at a local business and issued a trespass warning letter, effectively telling one individual that their presence was no longer in the business plan.
May 2
Deputies on Orcas Island responded to a trespassing report in Eastsound and arrested an individual for both criminal trespassing and resisting—apparently the word "no" needed some official reinforcement.
May 2 · Eastsound
A San Juan deputy stopped a vehicle on Tucker Avenue whose lane maintenance was about as reliable as a shopping cart with a bum wheel; the driver's breath sample came back at nearly four times the legal limit, proving they were operating well above their pay grade.
May 2 · Tucker Avenue
A deputy on Orcas Island pulled over a driver whose license had been suspended—turns out you really can't drive without a license, who knew? The driver learned this lesson the hard way and was arrested.
May 2 · Orcas Island
A suspect was arrested at the Sheriff's Office for burglary in the second degree and theft in the third degree, proving that crime doesn't pay, but apparently it was worth a try.
May 1
A deputy responded to a trespassing report, but the suspect decided to make a quick exit and walked straight into the Sheriff's Office—talk about poor timing and even worse geography.
May 1
A deputy on Orcas responded to a reported order violation in Eastsound, but after checking in with the protected party, discovered the violation was about as real as a three-dollar bill.
May 1 · Eastsound
A deputy responded to a trespassing complaint in the Olga area and handed out trespass warning letters to the involved parties—consider it a strongly worded invitation to stay off someone else's property.
May 1 · Olga
An Orcas Island deputy responded to an agency request and determined no crime had been committed, though the subject will need to take their concerns to a higher authority—literally, Washington state.
May 1 · Orcas Island
A deputy on Orcas Island took a threats complaint seriously and charged the person who made the threat with intimidating a witness, proving that words do hurt and also get you arrested.
Apr 30 · Orcas Island
A deputy on Orcas Island stopped a speeder on Crescent Beach Drive doing 53 in a 35, issuing an infraction to someone who apparently thought the speed limit was more of a suggestion than a rule.
Apr 30 · Crescent Beach
A deputy on Orcas Island responded to an unwanted person in Eastsound and got the reporting party to sign a trespass warning letter, effectively telling one visitor that their presence was not on the island's guest list.
Apr 30 · Eastsound
An Orcas Island deputy responded to an April 29 collision report and found the parties had already settled matters on scene with an exchange of information, proving that sometimes the best accidents are the ones that don't require paperwork.
Apr 30 · Orcas Island
A Facebook message in Eastsound had everyone concerned, but it turned out the poster's threats were about as serious as a wet noodle—no criminal intent detected, just documented for the record.
Apr 30 · Eastsound
A San Juan driver under 21 thought they could outrun the long arm of the law, but deputies caught up and found an alcoholic beverage that really shouldn't have been riding shotgun; the driver was arrested for DUI, resisting, and minor in possession charges.
Apr 29
An Eastsound deputy responded to an unexpected death with all the enthusiasm of someone finding out their flight got cancelled—no signs of foul play, coroner notified, case closed.
Apr 29 · Eastsound
A juvenile-related incident in the Sheriff's Office files remains as mysterious as the question marks that preceded it, but rest assured it's been documented.
Apr 29
An Eastsound agency needed a hand, and a mandatory reporter wanted to loop in the Sheriff's Office to investigate a situation involving a juvenile—documented and ready for the follow-up.
Apr 29 · Eastsound
An Orcas deputy helped a citizen make some major life changes by confiscating their firearms and sending them home with a receipt—proving that sometimes the best souvenirs are documentation of what you're no longer allowed to keep.
Apr 29
A would-be lock circumventer at the Sheriff's Office discovered that electronic locks are surprisingly committed to their job; the unsuccessful individual was identified and had a friendly chat about respecting boundaries.
Apr 29
Deputies investigated suspicious activity on the 100 block of Spring Street, because apparently even on an island, you can't have a little mystery without someone calling it in.
Apr 29 · Spring Street
An Eastsound business experienced disorderly conduct when a self-appointed sign critic took issue with their signage and confronted staff and patrons, ultimately earning a verbal trespass—turns out he wasn't a fan of their reading material.
Apr 28 · Eastsound
A Lopez business owner discovered that a local juvenile had decided to practice their autograph on a paper towel dispenser—apparently they were really trying to make a name for themselves, just in the wrong place.
Apr 28
A Decatur resident learned that an online travel company had created fake reservations for her property, which is ironic considering the only thing that should be fabricated on vacation is your out-of-office message.
Apr 28
Two Lopez drivers collided, prompting deputies and emergency medical services to respond—a reminder that the only thing you should be tailgating is your favorite restaurant.
Apr 28
A driver was stopped with no license, no insurance, expired registration, and an active DOC escape warrant—we towed his vehicle and gave him a ride he won't forget.
Apr 27
A deputy on Orcas Island conducted a traffic stop and issued the driver notices of infraction for operating without a valid license—turns out "valid operator" and "valid operator of a vehicle" are two very different things.
Apr 27 · Orcas Island
Deputies on Orcas Island responded to a domestic dispute, where one individual was arrested for assault in the fourth degree—which, thankfully, is several degrees below the boiling point.
Apr 27 · Orcas Island
Deputies on San Juan responded to a report of theft from a Friday Harbor store and searched for the suspect, though she remains at large and her island residency status remains a mystery.
Apr 27 · Friday Harbor
A deputy on Orcas conducted a welfare check and successfully located a juvenile and reunited him with his mother—mission accomplished, no questions asked.
Apr 27
A homeowner on Orcas requested that a neighbor be trespassed from their property, and deputies issued a warning letter instead—consider it a polite eviction notice.
Apr 27
A Lopez resident was stopped for driving left of center and speeding while operating without a valid driver's license, resulting in an infraction.
Apr 27
An unattended live-aboard vessel decided to rearrange Fisherman Bay's real estate by dragging its anchor, creating a navigational hazard until deputies attempted to track down the owner.
Apr 27
A domestic violence incident was reported and documented.
Apr 27
Deputies on Orcas Island responded to a domestic dispute in Eastsound, where an individual was arrested for assault in the fourth degree.
Apr 27 · Eastsound
A deputy responded to a vehicle that had taken an unscheduled ditch vacation on Roche Harbor Road; after impounding the car, they tracked down its owner at a resort, proving that no matter how far you try to escape your problems, they'll find you eventually.
Apr 26 · San Juan Island
A citizen reported that their personal information had been shared with a third party without permission, which is basically the digital equivalent of someone telling all your secrets at the island potluck.
Apr 26 · San Juan Island
A deputy on Orcas Island responded to a trespassing complaint and issued the subject a formal "you are not welcome here" letter—apparently verbal hints weren't cutting it.
Apr 26 · Orcas Island
A deputy visited an unwanted person at a Terrill Beach Road property and handed them a trespass warning letter, because sometimes you have to spell things out in writing.
Apr 25 · Terrill Beach
Deputies responded to trespassing at an Eastsound business, only to discover the individual had upgraded their crimes—they were arrested for second-degree burglary, which is definitely not the kind of promotion anyone wants.
Apr 25 · Eastsound
During a mental health crisis on Orcas Island, an individual assaulted two citizens and then—in a decision that aged poorly—assaulted a deputy too, earning themselves an all-expenses-paid trip to jail.
Apr 25 · Orcas Island
A 9-year-old girl got separated from her group during the Tour de Lopez, but Good Samaritans stepped in faster than you can say "it takes a village," and deputies reunited her with her grateful family.
Apr 25
A Lopez resident learned that talking to trees is safer than talking to steering wheels when their solo vehicle collision left them with a completed report and valuable life lessons.
Apr 25
One cyclist discovered that the Tour de Lopez's most challenging obstacle wasn't the hills—it was gravity—resulting in one adult female's all-expenses-paid trip to the mainland.
Apr 25
Deputies responded to a residence where assistance was offered but firmly rejected, proving once again that you can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it accept emergency services.
Apr 25
Eastsound deputies responded to an unwanted visitor and trespassed an individual in crisis from their friend's property, hopefully redirecting them toward the help they actually needed.
Apr 25 · Eastsound
A San Juan driver discovered that 63 mph in a 45 mph zone is not, in fact, "just going with the flow," and received an infraction to commemorate their creative math skills.
Apr 24
A Lopez deputy investigated a report of a teen posting threatening firearm photos online—turns out the only thing that got shot down was the anonymous caller's accuracy.
Apr 23
A deputy on Mt. Baker Road discovered that one Orcas Island driver had taken "operating without a license" to a whole new level of commitment.
Apr 23 · Orcas Island
A hit-and-run on Orcas Island resulted in a traffic stop that turned into a masterclass in poor life choices: hit-and-run, negligent driving, suspended license, malicious mischief, and domestic violence—quite the impressive collection for one driver.
Apr 22 · Orcas Island
A San Juan deputy located a driver who proved that a suspended license wasn't the only thing missing from their vehicle—they'd also forgotten the required ignition interlock device, earning citations for both omissions.
Apr 22
A San Juan deputy observed a driver operating on a suspended license and apparently wanted to see if they could add even more violations to the collection.
Apr 22
Local woman decided a patrol car's back window looked like the perfect place to take a seat, earning herself a trespass in the second degree charge—apparently "no soliciting" includes unauthorized vehicle occupancy.
Apr 22
A deputy investigated a civil complaint involving a boat on Orcas Island, proving that even on an island surrounded by water, people still find things to argue about.
Apr 22 · Orcas Island
Two drivers on Orcas Road learned the hard way that "meeting halfway" works better in negotiations than in traffic collisions; both were contacted and the fender-bender was documented.
Apr 22 · Orcas Island
Authorities submitted a case involving allegedly suspended license operation to the prosecutor, because apparently some drivers view license suspensions as mere suggestions.
Apr 22
Someone operating a vehicle without a valid license was spotted, and the case was forwarded to the Prosecuting Attorney—turns out you actually need one of those to make it official.
Apr 22
A driver with a suspended license decided to test whether the rules apply to them—spoiler alert: they do.
Apr 22
A citizen misplaced their wallet in Eastsound, and a deputy helped document what is essentially the island's most expensive game of hide-and-seek.
Apr 22 · Eastsound
A driver managed to hit two birds with one traffic stop: left-of-center driving and a DUI arrest—talk about an overachiever.
Apr 20 · Orcas Island
A Lopez Island driver took "off-roading" literally by parking their vehicle on a rock while under the influence; turns out gravity and sobriety tests are both real.
Apr 20 · Lopez Island
A landlord-tenant dispute required a deputy to deliver the legal equivalent of "you two need to work this out yourselves"—attorney consultation strongly suggested.
Apr 20 · Orcas Island
A Lopez resident discovered that "staying in your lane" is more of a suggestion when you're also staying off the roadway entirely.
Apr 20
An estranged relative's concerning comments earned them a no-contact order, which is basically a legal way of saying "we're not kidding around anymore."
Apr 20
Unable to rewrite due to incomplete incident information.
Apr 20
A mysterious wallet turned up on Egg Lake Road with all the mystery of a blank check—except less valuable and way more soggy.
Apr 20
A trespasser on Orcas Island decided to test whether the "no trespassing" order was just a polite suggestion, and learned the hard way that it was not.
Apr 19 · Orcas Island
A deputy on Orcas Island pulled over a driver whose registration expired in 2024—apparently they thought "expiration date" was more of a suggestion than a deadline—and issued an infraction for letting it lapse over two months.
Apr 18 · Orcas Island
A San Juan deputy stopped a vehicle for an improper left turn, only to discover the driver's license was suspended in the third degree, which is either very specific or very bad at math.
Apr 18
Two unbuckled passengers learned the hard way that safety belts aren't just a suggestion when a San Juan deputy issued them both infractions for their commitment to free-spirited driving.
Apr 18
An Orcas Island deputy responded to an injured deer near Rosario and made the difficult decision to euthanize the animal, proving that not all island calls end with a happy hoof-print.
Apr 18 · Rosario
An Orcas Island deputy documented a theft at a local business and processed a trespass warning letter for the suspect, officially making them the business's least favorite frequent flyer.
Apr 18 · Orcas Island
An Orcas deputy responded to a reported theft on Shaw Island, only to discover it was actually someone picking up equipment they'd legitimately purchased—a case of "my bad" all around.
Apr 18 · Shaw Island
A domestic violence and unlawful imprisonment incident was reported and documented.
Apr 17
Deputies responded to a domestic violence call involving assault in the fourth degree and unlawful imprisonment, documenting the incident for further investigation.
Apr 17
A San Juan deputy discovered that a driver's 2023 registration was, in fact, from 2023—a full two months ago—and issued an infraction for those who apparently believe expiration dates are merely suggestions.
Apr 17
An Orcas Island deputy responded to an unwanted person report near Terrill Beach Road, made contact with all parties, and documented the incident, proving that some people really do overstay their welcome.
Apr 16 · Orcas Island
An Orcas Island deputy investigated a fraud attempt in Eastsound, where a would-be scam artist met their match in a victim too clever to be separated from their money—consider it a rare happy ending for once.
Apr 16 · Eastsound
A victim learned that the phrase "shipped and delivered" doesn't always mean the package actually shows up, so deputies documented what can only be described as a masterclass in online shopping disappointment while hoping the refund materializes faster than the original order.
Apr 16 · Eastsound
Deputies responded to a civil matter in Doe Bay, proved that some conflicts can't be solved with a friendly island wave, and documented it for posterity.
Apr 15 · Doe Bay
A driver at Orcas Landing decided to combine two things that should never meet: steering wheels and impaired judgment, resulting in an arrest for DUI.
Apr 15
A routine traffic stop for expired registration turned into a surprise arrest when deputies discovered the driver was wanted and also driving with a suspended license—proving that sometimes the smallest violations lead to the biggest oopsies.
Apr 15 · Orcas Island
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